Changes

I have been doing this for awhile and think I am noticing positive changes.  Some Buddhists caution practitioners to not be impatient.  The training may go on and on without positive results.  Some say that you never really become enlightened but that you mature somewhat.  You are a little more able to adapt to and confront life's challenges but you really don't ever eliminate suffering.  I think that is what I have been experiencing.  When I am in suffering mode I can see it and observe it and I don't let it become overwhelming.  I can be depressed but I am much less likely to use that as an excuse to not do my daily aerobic walking.  I think it really is true that our behavior is controlled by pleasure and pain.  While in pain it is hard to focus on anything else but after looking at and feeling it eventually it has less power over you.  You can get on with your life and try to accomplish what you want regardless of a down mood.  On the other side of the coin, we are also controlled by pleasure.  I would sometimes listen to a motivational speaker like Tony Robbins and be completely turned on and excited about a self improvement program.  It was a wonderful way to get started and organized in making a life change.  They just wouldn't last.  They were temporary highs and did not result in permanent changes.  Now, I just don't seem to need them as much.  I know a few things that I really want and don't need the positive affirmations or motivational talks to make myself do them.  I am a long, long way from where I want to be.  I still have problems and I still misbehave but I'm coming along.