More on Meditation

I covered meditation and I think I wrote about some warnings but want to cover it again and perhaps more thoroughly.  The two forms are the calm abiding or single point concentration.  This is the type of meditation I think most people are familiar with.  A description would be to sit comfortably and close your eyes.  Breath deeply and just relax.  After a short while you can begin to focus on your breath.  Some people use a mantra or a word that they repeat over and over again in their mind.  Eventually you will find your self drifting off and losing focus.  This is a natural part of the process and once you notice you have lost concentration you just return your attention back to whatever it was.  When I began this It was very boring.  My mind would race and think of all kinds of things I need to get done.  It was very hard to concentrate.  I did get some benefits from it though.  During non-meditative states sometimes my mind was very clear.  Also, I did not seem to be talking to myself as much; my mind was quieter.  I stopped meditating and many, many years later when I began to practice it again.  After awhile I noticed it was pleasant.  It was not as boring and I did not get filled with thoughts of things I need to get done.  I think Buddhists perhaps would view what we call "joy" or "happiness" is really the absence of suffering.  That sounds terribly negative doesn't it?  As I began to learn how to tap into the pleasant feeling of meditation, I think I was less driven or motivated to do something.  It became OK to sit and do nothing.  There is a joke about the Buddhist saying "Don't just do something, Sit there!"  The warning that is given on the web site I follow is that this type of meditation can make people less happy about their normal lives.  Things, they warn, can become more irritating and disruptive of your quiet, peaceful mind.  It is like you are enjoying sitting on this park bench breathing the fresh air on a beautiful day and you just don't want to think about this bill you have to pay or that you have to go to the store and buy food.  The other form of meditation is when you bring your attention to some negative feeling or behavior.  That is, when we meditate on how angry you became at some person or what you did yesterday that caused harm.  This is the analytic meditation and it can very easily become dwelling on the negative.  When  I am hurting and in pain and I am trying to observe it, it can really be depressing.  I am slowly beginning to learn how to do this properly.  It is very important for me at least to take a step back.  You do not want to be in the pain but you do want to look at the pain.  For me this has to do with putting a frame around your suffering like framing a picture and then looking at it, while knowing that you are not in the picture.  Sometimes that help but there are other times when you just have to stop.  I don't know how it is for others but it seems to me that often I get into this unhappiness or suffering mode.  I will think about how I should have done something differently 35 years ago and it just keeps nagging.  It is like a spoiled brat that will just not be quiet until he is picked and held or fed.  At that point it is very east to react.  It would be very easy for me to drink  or eat more that I should of high fat high salt and high sugary foods or anything else I might think of to get relief.  That almost happened this week.  I was having some kind of pity party and almost decided to buy some booze and over eat.  I did not and boy am I happy about that.  Had I, I know it would have really put me into a tailspin.  So that is the lesson I have learned.  Frame the suffering, step out of the picture and look at it.  If that does not work and I notice myself going toward behaving in a way that will make things worse then go back to calm abiding meditation or just stop altogether for awhile.  I think too, you have to have a little faith.  You need to believe that by becoming self aware even if sometimes there is a little pain that you will gain a special insight about yourself and will ultimately lead to less suffering.  The other thing I find myself doing and is helpful is to just bounce back and forth between calm abiding and analytic meditation.  I am able to get to a place of joy and peace by calm abiding meditation whenever I need refuge.